The Mental Stairway to Orgasms

orgasms post header

Let’s talk about sex baby!

The science aspect of it though.

Yes, sex IS a science.

We can thank Alfred Kinsey of Indiana University, who started researching the topic in the 40’s. A pioneer of the field, his findings revealed a surprising frequency, in which people were coupling and engaging in sexual relations. A topic that was considered very taboo for its time.

But specifically, let’s talk about orgasms.

I’m not sure about all of you out there, but I love experiencing an intense, all encompassing orgasm.  

There’s nothing more relaxing, more invigorating, more pleasurable than an orgasm.

It’s what happens if you took Ativan, Ambien, and Ecstasy all at once.  

Some women have difficulty reaching them: why is this?

Well according to an article on Scientific American, it’s because certain areas of the brain have to be silent for an orgasm to be achieved because:

orgasms require the release of inhibitions and control.

So which areas require silence?

In Men, it’s areas involved in vigilance.
In Women, it’s areas involved in controlling thoughts and emotions.

First, a  brief overview of the sex cycle

Developed in 1966 by gynecologist William Masters and psychologist Virginia Johnson after over 10,000 observations of climatic cycles by hundreds of men and women, they outlined a 4-stage human sexual experience:


blood rushes to the penis in men; clitoris, vulva and vagina enlarge and grow moist in women


full arousal but not yet at orgasm


climax of sexual excitement, characterized by feelings of pleasure centered in the genitals and (in men) experienced as an accompaniment to ejaculation


tissues return to the preexcitation stage

Later on in the 70’s, psychiatrist Helen Singer Kaplan of the Human Sexuality Program at Weill Medical College of Cornell University, added ‘desire’ to the sex cycle.

So it went on to look like this:

Desire ⇒  Excitation ⇒ Plateau ⇒ Orgasm ⇒ Resolution

With desire now preceding excitation; the process of sex now included a psychological element thus, emphasizing the importance of the mind in sexual experiences and the destructive forces anxiety, defensiveness, and failure of communication can have on it.  

Long thought that female desires were fueled only by rich cognitive and emotional context. A 2007 study by Psychologist Meredith Chivers, then at the Center for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, and her colleagues showed that women can be aroused by sexual imagery devoid of emotional connections.

Contrary to the perception of many: visual stimuli generates sexual desire in both men and women. Whether visual or spoken, these cues help relieve inhibitions and get one started.

Areas of Increased Brain Activity

In 2009, Leah Millheiser of Stanford University and her colleagues found using functional MRI scans that the Entorhinal Center is activated in women with normal sexual drives. In contrast, women with low sexual libido had low activity in this area. This area is involved in forming and retrieving positive emotional memories.

This indicates that women with low libido may be unable to use memories from previous sexual experiences as motivation to initiate and enjoy new sexual experiences.

Sex, desire, and possibly orgasm may create a mental staircase to which every new encounter is built on pleasurable memories.

In Women, clitroal stimulation by itself has been found to activate areas involved in receiving and perceiving sensory signals from that part of the body.

When men ejaculate there is activation in the Ventral Tegmental area with intensity comparable to heroin! For men, ejaculation serves a reproductive function.  As Neuroscientist Gert Holstege of the University of Groningen in the Netherlands and his colleagues stated:

because ejaculation introduces sperm into the female reproductive tract, it would be critical for reproduction of the species to favor ejaculation as a most rewarding behavior.

And it certainly is otherwise, our species wouldn’t have made it this far and multiplied in such great numbers. For those of you with kids or trying to have them: half the fun is getting there amiright?

As psychologist Kent Berridge of the University of Michigan describes it: sexual pleasure is a “gloss” that the brain’s emotional center, the limbic system, applies over primary sensations.

The Anterior Cerebellum was found to switch into high gear in men. While the Cerebellum is attributed to coordination of motor behaviors new findings show that it also plays a role in emotional processing.  Leading experts to the conclusion that this area might help men coordinate certain emotional components with planned responses.

Areas of Decreased Brain Activity

For men, there’s a decrease in Amgydalan activity during ejaculation suggesting possible suppression of vigilance and fear. However, the same has been found to be true for women because fear and anxiety need to be avoided at all costs if a woman wishes to have an orgasm.

For women, researchers noticed other centers went silent, as well.  Specifically:

The left Lateral Orbitofrontal Cortex: responsible for the exertion of self-control over basic desires, such as sex, which corresponds to the release of tension and inhibition.

Also, the Dorsomedial Prefrontal Cortex: responsible for moral reasoning and social judgement

So fellas, want to know how to make your woman shut the front door? Make her orgasm. I promise you, if you do it right, it works every time.  Just be sure it’s genuine and not faked, we’re pretty good at that: 

Ladies, don’t be afraid to take care of yourselves during times of singledom, or just any point in time.  

An orgasm is an orgasm no matter how it is achieved.

 A little help is good but sometimes you just gotta help yourself.

Are you able to silence your brain to reach climactic heaven? What are your thoughts on the matter?

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  • Tamara
    March 11, 2016 at 2:33 PM

    haha, well you got my attention with this topic! Yes, I can achieve it. I never knew how much was involved but I’ve certainly suspected it because sometimes my head definitely gets in the way. I hate that.
    Also, I’ve never faked my way!

  • JamaicanJuice
    March 14, 2016 at 2:09 PM

    Yes, i find this is the best way to achieve peace. An orgasm a day keeps her mouth at bay! 🙂

  • Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table
    March 16, 2016 at 12:55 PM

    This is awesome. I especially love the part about moral reasoning going by the wayside. LOL! Cheers to good sex!

  • Yulunda
    March 29, 2016 at 11:07 PM

    Hello Beautiful!

    Loved this topic and all of the dynamics around it. I believe learning how to meditate and still one’s mind is th training mechanism for a good orgasm.

    And, you are darn right, an orgasm is an orgasm, is an orgasim. No matter how you get it 😂

  • Charlotte
    April 8, 2016 at 2:32 PM

    Ha I’m with Tamara–you’ll always catch my attention with a blog post on S-E-X 🙂 Love this (and the scientific research behind the almighty orgasm). Who knew? And silence my controlling thoughts and emotions?! HOW ON EARTH does one do such a thing? Love this! And also that scene from Harry Met Sally. THE BEST!

    Have missed you; it’s wonderful to be back in your space again 🙂 XOXO


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